Some weeks just dont make sense and this one feels like that weird space between knowing what youre doing and having absolutely no clue. Ive been thinking a lot about my family lately, about how they dont really understand what I do and how thats okay but also sometimes really hard.
My mum keeps asking when Im going to get a real job and I want to tell her this IS real work but then I also get why shes worried. Its not like escort work comes with a pension plan or health insurance. Sometimes I look at my friends with their office jobs and steady paychecks and wonder if Im making the right choices.
Mental health is weird when youre doing this kind of work. Some days Im totally fine and other days everything feels like its sliding sideways. I try to be careful about who I see, about setting boundaries, about checking in with myself. But its not always simple.
Money helps. Lets be real. Im saving up for something bigger than just getting by but Im not totally sure what that is yet. Maybe university. Maybe traveling. Maybe just having a safety net that feels real.
Just writing this out helps sometimes. Making sense of things by not really making sense at all.